fmf: ordinary

Here are the rules:
1. Write for five minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.
2. Link back to Lisa Jo Baker's blog with the rest of the Five Minute Friday-ers.
2. Comment on the person who linked up before you.

Please join us!

Today's prompt: Ordinary

GO

I look around me, and I see all sorts of people who are so skilled at doing all kinds of things: things I could never do myself. And I am amazed. It just seems so natural to them. From my husband standing up in the pulpit on Sunday mornings delivering a beautifully crafted sermon, to the farmers in the field during harvest operating those ridiculously large combines (which, by the way, look like UFOs at night. No joke), to the lady ringing me up at the grocery store who seems to not only know with one quick glance exactly what kind of produce I have, but also knows all of the 4 digit produce codes without missing a beat.

This is just the beginning. There's the pianist at church, the police man driving by, the nurse who gave me my flu shot...it blows me away how easily they perform tasks just like they're second nature. Ordinary.

Then I look at myself and feel a little down. But not for long.

Because I can diaper a squirming toddler in no time flat. I can crochet, sing, run two miles and still feel out of shape (though I'm working on that), and back in my Caribou days, I could make drinks during a Friday morning rush with a speed and accuracy that now kind of even surprises me. It's just what I do (or did).

And while some people, I'm sure, look at me in complete and utter amazement for not only doing, but also loving every one one of those things, to me, they're nothing. It's just ordinary.

STOP

keeping my dreams for someday

Today's blessing:
Facebook and Twitter and their ability to make you feel like you're there...sort of.

I'm a nerd. No really, don't be shocked. I'm also awkward, but that's a different post entirely. I love to watch races. No, not cars or horses. People. I love to watch people run.

When I was in college I was so lucky to be a mile away from part of the course for the Twin Cities Marathon. I was also lucky enough to be in really good shape. (Okay, maybe that part wasn't really luck!) This meant that I could run a couple miles down the River Road to Lake Street, cheer for my friends who were running as they passed about the 17.5 mile point, run across the bridge, and cheer again as they neared mile 21. One year I even ran most of the final five miles with a friend who was really hurting. Then I got kicked off the course because I didn't have a number, but one of the photographers got a really nice picture of me!

Now, sitting in my dining room sipping coffee and following @USATFMN and @TCMarathon on Twitter when I should be waking the kid up so she naps at a decent time, I'm feeling that let down. I did a post a little while ago about giving up the all or nothing mentality, and I need that reminder myself today. The marathon is really the one big thing missing from my running resume. I was planning on running my first in 2009. I was registered for the TC marathon, but then I decided it would be a good time to take on another full time job before quitting the one I already had, and with a month and a half before the race, I found myself working ridiculous hours and not being able to scrape together the time or energy to get in my last weeks of training. Sad day.

Then, in the summer of 2011, I decided that 2012 was my year. There was a race in Wisconsin in May, and I was going to do it. I had a stable job that allowed me plenty of time and flexibility. I had the motivation, I had a place to stay (20 minutes away from the race at my parent's house), and I had money for the entry fee, since it was about half the price of other marathons I'd looked at!

But I also had one other thing. I had this growing inside of me:

As my uncle Mark (a multi-time marathoner, including a Boston or two!) said: Some people will do anything to get out of marathon training!

He was kidding, of course.

But someday I'll get there. I'll conquer the 26.2. It just seems so far away right now as I glance longingly at my brand new running shoes that are still shiny and white because they haven't even been outside yet and I've run a grand total of 6 miles since moving at the end of August and I have nowhere to run but around the corn and soybean fields framed by dirt roads.

Someday I'll get there. I may be a mommy, but I still have my own dreams. I may put my family first, but I'm not going to give up my own identity. Maybe I won't run a marathon next year, or even the year after. Maybe not even the year after that. But I'll get there, because P is raising a mommy who wants to teach her kid the value of hard work and not giving up, in spite of a beautiful, smiling, energetic little bump in the road!

fmf: write

Here are the rules:
1. Write for five minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.
2. Link back to Lisa Jo Baker's blog with the rest of the Five Minute Friday-ers.
2. Comment on the person who linked up before you.

Please join us!

Today's prompt: Write

GO

When I was in second grade, I won honorable mention in a city-wide story contest. I was pretty proud of myself. I think that was when I finally gave up my dream of becoming an astronomer (no joke!) or a ballerina or a princess. I liked writing stories. I wanted to be a children's book author.

I actually held onto that dream for quite some time, considering my age. Most kids go through phases and want a new career every three or four weeks. Not me. I went through a brief fling with meteorology when I was in fourth grade (really? I know...) but then it was right back to writing for me. Eighth grade graduation was a pretty big thing at my school, and my class did "Most likely to" awards for everyone. There were only 40 or 50 some of us, so it wasn't that bad. I was "Most likely to become the next Sharon Creech." Never heard of her? That's a shame. Find Chasing Redbird or Bloomability or Absolutely Normal Chaos in the middle school reader section of your library and read it now. You will NOT regret it.

When I hit high school, I changed focus and decided I wanted to do something with music. Unfortunately, this lasted until I was about a junior in college. That's when I realized that music is more of a hobby for me than a career. Whoops. I didn't really know what to do then. I've never really been a career minded person. The idea doesn't motivate me.

My senior year I took one of those required classes that no one wants to take and very few people actually get any information out of but they're still required to round out your education. After receiving a really good grade on my first paper, the professor pulled me aside after class and asked if I'd ever considered a career in writing, because I had a gift.

I think I smiled and said "thank you" and scampered out of the room as quickly as possible. Then I filed the compliment and tucked it away and didn't do much with it.

But it was always there.

That compliment and my love of the written word.

And now I'm doing something with it.

I realize a number of things at this point, as I'm reading other beautifully crafted blog posts and marveling at stories shared so eloquently:
1. I don't have anything to say that hasn't already been said 100 times.
2. I probably won't be able to share it as beautifully as some of you can and have.
3. I'm really just doing this for myself.

And that's completely fine. Because I can reach people that the other wordsmiths can't, and some people don't need (or want) fancily crafted words. And every now and then, you need to do things for yourself. Maybe as a release or maybe just to prove you still can.

STOP

That was actually more like 15 minutes, but it just flowed and was largely unedited, so I'm going to count it!

giving up the all or nothing mentality

Today's blessing:
A run to the end of the block and back

I'm a runner. I have been since grade school, but I got serious about it in college. That's when I realized that running is my therapy. If I had to miss a day of track or cross country practice, I started getting really crabby right around 4:30. (Practice was at 3:45.) No joke.

Now, don't get some idea that I'm this crazy elite runner who wins races and everything. I'm not. I'm a very average runner. Very very average.

And I'm okay with that. Really, I am. I think the things that set me apart from lots of other average runners is that I'm willing to put in the time and I know how to train. You don't run for three years under an elite coach and not learn a thing or two about proper training!

However, now I find myself in a bit of a rut. I just ran a half marathon at the beginning of August. It was great - I felt strong, I beat my time goal, and I had a blast. But now there's the letdown. I'm done training. What now? Races are expensive, so I can't afford to run them often. Also, I just don't have the time. With the husband working so much now and country roads that aren't safe for/conducive to a jogging stroller, what's a girl to do?

I'll tell you what she needs to do.

She needs to get that notion out of her head that if it's not all out, it's not worth it.

That if she's not going to PR on her next 5k, she might as well stand on the sidelines. Or stay on the couch.

That if she can't log 30 miles a week, she might as well not log any.

She needs to realize that she can get up 20 minutes earlier to hit the pavement (or gravel).

And that six miles a week is better than none.

It's good for her sanity.

Now I'm off to bed. I have a run to the end of the block that I need to get rested up for tomorrow morning.

By the way, the end of my block and back is two miles...I love country roads!

my saturday morning in pictures

Today's blessings:

The view from my dining room window

The waffles that were made earlier this week and frozen, so all I had to do was pop one in the toaster and enjoy!

Brushy teeth?

This mommy's elixir of life...Caribou coffee with homemeade cocoa almond creamer

Happy Saturday!

fmf: she

Here are the rules:
1. Write for five minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.
2. Link back to Lisa Jo Baker's blog with the rest of the Five Minute Friday-ers.
2. Comment on the person who linked up before you.

Please join us!

Today's prompt: She

GO

SHE is talking up a storm now. No joke. Words that I don't even remember saying around her are coming out of her little 19 month old mouth. (Not bad words, just words you don't really think of a toddler picking up, like "remote" and "magazine.")

SHE is growing like a weed. I swear she's three inches taller than she was this time last week.

SHE melts my heart with her newest phrases. "Mommy, pray?" with tiny hands folded and face shining. "Read the Bible?" with excitement and her impish little grin that gets me every time.

SHE is learning how to communicate like a big girl. "Mommy, cereal fall down on chair!" "Mommy, sticky hands. Napkin?" "Mommy, more noodles on the plate? Please?"

SHE is the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

SHE is so very blessed.

SHE is my greatest blessing.

And I hope SHE knows she is loved.

 HE is not so bad, either!

STOP

The content was written in five minutes, the pictures were added after the fact to up the cuteness factor!

compassion blog month: week two assignment

Today's blessing:

This week's assignment:
Write three things about one word

And I get to choose the word? Oh goodness...this is pressure! There is just so much power in words! Here's my problem: I over think things. A lot. I could spend three days trying to think of the perfect word. I want something powerful, but not cheesy. Something with room for humor, but not goofy. Something relevant by not "holier-than-thou" (because really, that's not me!).

Every Friday (almost) I take part in Lisa Jo Baker's Five Minute Friday challenge. She gives us a word, and we spend five minutes writing. No editing allowed. Then we publish them, share them, and encourage one another! For a perfectionist like me, this is quite a challenge! Some of them turn out to be complete and utter failures. Some of them are actually halfway decent. Here are some of my favorites:

Red

Last

Broken

Enough about that...I guess I'll just have to pick my own word this time and go for it.

Strong

I’m not going to lie: I got this word by looking at a tissue box. My tissues are “Ultra Soft & Strong.” I haven’t come up with a better option on my own, so I figured I would let inspiration strike from an unconventional place.

Strong: something I am not. I recently decided that I needed to improve my all-around physical strength. I’ve started doing pushups every day. I won’t tell you how many I can do now before my arms give out, but ask me in a few weeks and I might!

Strong: something that I must be. My husband works in a very high stress field. Pastors don’t have the suicide rate of dentists or air traffic controllers, but there is a very high burn out rate. Here’s one of the biggest issues: my husband is a talker. If he’s upset about or stressed out by something, he needs to talk it out. When you’re a pastor, there are certain things that must remain confidential. Oh dear. I know there will be times when I need to take a deep breath, give him a hug, and somehow convince him that everything will be fine.

Strong: something that we are sometimes forced to be. Sometimes life throws a lot at you. It’s hard to keep your head above water and you just don’t think you can keep going. You have two options. You can give up. You can allow yourself to spiral into a pit of despair, cry until you can’t cry anymore, then sit there and do nothing.

Or…

You can allow yourself to cry because there’s nothing wrong with that and sometimes you just need to. Then you can take a deep breath and go on. You can wake up the next morning and find something worth living for: a family member, a friend, a book that you started and are curious to continue because you want to see how it ends, or a flower in your garden that is just so pretty you want to enjoy its vibrant colors for a few more hours.

The pain may never go away completely, but you can allow it to overtake you, or you can allow it to strengthen you. You can run from it, or you can embrace it and learn from it.

There are children playing or working or sleeping in the world right now who don’t know where their next meal will come from, or even if they’ll get another meal. Talk about justified despair! I am begging you to do what you can to help. Your help does not have to be financial. The power of prayer has been proven, so say a prayer right now for these children. If you are in a position to give financially, please do. Whether it is through a recurring gift and the adoption of a child or a one time gift of $5, $20, or $100, it will not be wasted. Click on the Compassion button on the right side of this post to learn more.

Here is a third way that you can help: share the message. You can reach people I cannot. Share this message with your network, and you just may find another person who can save a life. How cool is it to be involved in that chain reaction?

Whoever thought that a tissue box could inspire a potentially life saving message…