raising a mommy

raising a mommy

Monday, December 17, 2012

not in denial

Today's blessing:
Another day with my beautiful family.

I love my baby girl more than anything on the planet. The best sound in the world is her laughter, and it breaks my heart to hear her cry. Even if it's just a wet diaper, I hate the idea of her being uncomfortable, unhappy, or in pain. And when she cries and I can't make her stop...that's the worst. Then sometimes it makes me cry.

Something happened last week in Newtown, Connecticut. I have purposely been avoiding the news and internet headlines since. I've always been maybe a little over-sensitive about violence. All those Law and Order/CSI/NCIS kind of shows...they give me nightmares. And since becoming a mommy I've become even more sensitive to these things, particularly if they involve children.

That said, when things actually happen to children and those who care for them, I can't handle it. If I allow myself to think about the events of last week, it's bad. It makes me want to stay at home and keep the doors locked and not ever let P leave. I just want to protect her.

But then what? She doesn't make friends. She doesn't learn how to ride a bike or play hopscotch. (Do kids still play hopscotch?) She doesn't get to have squirt gun fights or snowball fights or even skin her knee running around the playground too fast. And those are all vital parts of childhood.

So I guess I'll just have to let go. I'll have to teach her to say her prayers and make good decisions. I'll have to watch her go out and make mistakes.

To anyone who has ever lost someone too soon: for what it's worth, know that I am praying for you. You are loved deeply and nothing will ever change that.

One thing is certain and cannot be stated enough - P is raising a mommy who is grateful for every moment she is given. A mommy is all I've ever really wanted to be, so I cherish every sleepless night and early morning with my beautiful baby girl.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

random holiday musings

Blessing of the day:
P is currently taking a morning nap...this is a very rare occurance!

I have no idea where this post is going to go - P went down for a surprise morning nap, and, rather than clean the microwave or fold laundry or work on making Christmas presents or come up with an idea for dinner or sweep the floor, I've decided to sit at my computer (acutally, it's my husband's computer) and write an entry.

I absolutely love the holiday season. There is something magical about that time from September (what holiday is in September, you ask? My birthday, of course!) through New Year's. I could do without Halloween, but fall is glorious with its colors and cooler weather and pumpkin flavor. I don't acutally love the pumpkin flavor, but I will still drink a pumpkin mocha or latte whenever I get the chance. I think it's more what the pumpkin symbolizes that I love.

Then the snow comes. There are few things, in my mind, that are more amazing than snow. I even had to drive in it last weekend, and it was still a gift from God. Everything is so pretty when it's coated in a layer of white. It makes me want to make a big mug of hot chocolate, drop in a candy cane, and make Puppy Chow. Some people want to snuggle up on the couch and watch a movie or read a book...I want to bake. This sure won't help me lose the last couple pounds of baby weight, but I sure do love it!

Now that I've gotten a little bit of this out of my system, I suppose I should spend some time being productive. I probably won't get much more down time this morning, and, if there's one thing I've learned since having a baby, it's that you need to take advantage of every opportunity you have, whether it's to play with her, to nap while she naps, or to clean while she naps!

Here's to a happy and productive Saturday!