raising a mommy

raising a mommy

Thursday, July 7, 2016

i don't even know anymore

Today's blessing:

Friends, I don't even know what to say. There is so much hatred in the world right now and it is scary.

Here is a fact: there are bad ones in every group of people. There are bad white people. There are bad black people. There are bad cops, Native Americans, Muslims, Christians, and even pastors and day care providers. No group is immune, and the "bad" are often vocal and visible.

But there is hope. Because the majority are good. To the "good ones" in the group: speak up. Speak love louder than the hate of the vocal few.

I'll say it again.

Speak love louder than the hate of the vocal few.

The violence and hatred must stop now before more innocent lives are lost.

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
-Elie Wiesel

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

cross training

Today's blessing:
Being healthy

I've never really struggled with my health. I've had a few injuries in my day (tendonitis, stress fractures, the usual) but nothing that has seriously derailed me from taking care of myself. I even like eating healthy food. No, really! Salads are delicious, and fruit is some of my favorite! (Chocolate chip cookies don't make me mad, either.) And exercise? I like to call it sweat therapy. If I go too long without working out, I am not pleasant to be around. My husband has learned to hand me my running shoes and ban me from the house for at least 20 minutes.

I know I'm not alone in this.

But for the times when you just can't run...what then? Sometimes you'll be hurt. Maybe your partner is out of town for a few days and you can't leave the kids. Or maybe it's just one of those crazy weeks when life gets in the way of your best intentions and you cannot make it to the gym no matter how badly you want to.

I have been blessed with two tiny personal trainers who are extremely helpful on these days. They have endurance that can rival a marathoner (ie me), and some days a trip to the park is just what everyone needs!

What do you see here?

While I love my adult time at the real gym, some days this is the next best thing. This is when I get creative and make up a Strong Mummy-inspired workout! Incline push ups and tricep dips on the platforms? Step ups? Lunges? That one where you try to jump on the box except the kids won't choke back laughter and give you judgy looks if you miss and bang your shins like the punks at the gym might?

And seriously, were the monkey bars that challenging when I was eight? I do not remember the playground being a workout! Then the cardio of dashing from one side of the platform to the other to keep your adventurous toddler from stepping off the edge. That may be why my injury is taking so long to heal.

My kids are definitely raising a mommy who can get creative with her workouts.

Thursday, June 16, 2016


Today's blessing:

My Grandpa passed away this morning. It sucks. Obviously. But it's okay, and here's why.

This man lived for 84 years. He was one of the hardest workers I've ever met - I guess that's what happens when you're a North Dakota farmer. I can list off all the cliches:
And so many more.

Here's the thing about my Grandpa. He lived for 84 years. Not just "he was alive for 84 years" but he lived it all. Until Tuesday morning when he had the stroke, he lived. None of this "80 years of quality living followed by 4 years of decline" for this man. He lived.

He was one of the good ones.

He is leaving the world a better place than he found it, and isn't that really all a person can ask for?

I love you Grandpa, and I'm going to miss you. But we'll be okay.

Precious snuggle time with his oldest great-grandchild.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

what can i do

Today's blessing:
Passionate people who are ready for change

I am raising my kids in a world where rape earns you three months in prison and mass shootings happen nearly every day.

That is scary stuff, my friends.

But what can I do?

I can safely say that I am not part of the problem. Not only have I never assaulted anyone, but I am doing my best to teach my kids about consent. No means no, we don't keep secrets, and you never have to give someone a hug or a kiss if you don't want to, even Mommy or Daddy. I share the occasional article or meme or graph that amuses or informs on facebook. I have a "Blessed Ramadan" sign in my yard and am looking forward to participating in an Iftar dinner in a few weeks. I have marched in a Pride parade. I have met plenty of people whose race, religion, political affiliation, and sexual orientation are different than mine, and if I didn't like them, it wasn't because of their race, religion, political affiliation, or sexual orientation. It was because they were a jerk.

Go me, right?

I'm not a part of the problem, and I take comfort in that.

But that is no longer enough.

We need to be an active part of the solution, and we need to do it now.

This is where I stumble. I am actually asking: what can I do?

Give blood? I already have an appointment on Thursday. But there must be more than that.

Give money? There's not a lot to spare, but we will make something work if a monetary donation would make a difference.

Give time? I don't have much of that to spare either, but I am truly open to suggestions, and I know others are, too.

If you have suggestions, please reach out. I would love them to be shared publicly so others with the same question can use the resources, as well, but if you are more comfortable sending me a private message, please do.

The hate needs to stop now.

If you are in Minnesota and want to know more about attending an Iftar dinner yourself, click here.

If you want to give blood, contact your local Red Cross. Trinity in St Peter is having a blood drive on Thursday and there are still openings. Click here to sign up or here to find a blood drive or donation center in your area.

If you want to read my thoughts on when it is okay for you to pass judgement on other people, click here.

The hate needs to stop. Now.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

fmf: share

Here are the rules:
1. Write for five minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.
2. Link back to Kate Motaung's blog with the rest of the Five Minute Friday-ers.
3. Comment on the person who linked up before you.

Please join us!

Today's prompt: share


Everyone has something to share. A story, a song, a joke, unsolicited advice...

While some people will pour their hearts out to you after so little as a "Hi, I'm blah blah. Nice to meet you!" ("Oh, hi, blah blah, I'm yak yak and I like spaghetti and flip flops and the snow but not too much snow and rabbits and hey look something shiny!") others take some time to warm up.

From one of those who takes time to warm up: please be patient.

Many people get the wrong impression. We're not snobs. We're not unintelligent (usually). We're not even necessarily shy. Sometimes we're the funniest (or even the snarkiest) people you will ever meet, you just have to give us a chance to warm up.

Wine helps.


Bah! That was hard! I am so "out of shape" for writing! Either way, thanks for your patience and words of encouragement that I know are coming because the fmf community is just the best!

Here's a quote that I came across recently. It's not really relevant to this post, but it's awesome and needs to be shared:
If you want to be a friend of all people, generate love and compassion. If you want to be a spiritual guide for all people, generate love and compassion. If you want to help everyone, generate love and compassion.
-Kunu Tenzin Gyelsten

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

fmf: forget

When you want to write, but the words won't come, what do you do?

When you don't actually have the time because you should be washing dishes/hanging up laundry/going to bed but you miss writing so much that you are willing to forgo sleep for another 20 minutes and the baby will wake up by then, anyway, so what's the point of going to bed, what do you do?

When you need to wait for the granola to cool so you can package it up and you just don't want to do the rest of the dishes (there are fewer than there were this morning, so that's a win, right?) what do you do?

You turn to five minute friday. You forget about the housework and the babies (but not really) and the bed calling your name (though again, not really) and you write for five minutes. Because you never have to feel bad about allowing yourself five minutes!

Then you remember.

You remember how much you loved the sound of the keys clicking while you type and the shape of the paragraphs when you try to be all artsy and authory and make them all segmented and stuff. You remember how much you loved the community of your fmfparty goers, even though you've never actually met them.

You remember the least favorite professor you had in college who told you that you had a gift for writing and you should think about pursuing it as a career. (In my last semester. Thanks a lot.)

You remember the joy of being recognized in a local story writing contest in the third grade and deciding that this is what you wanted to do with your life. What happened to that?

Is writing one of those things that you lose over time if you don't exercise it? Do you get out of shape? This rambling mess of a post makes me think yes. But I'd rather share this than nothing at all.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

#fmfpartysnailmail: a giveaway!

Oh my goodness, friends! Not only do we get thoughtful, hand written cards each week (or close to it, as there is grace when we fall behind!), but we also have the opportunity to win free stuff? How wonderful is that?! I am honored to host this week's giveaway, which is extra special because there will be two winners, and it includes some really great stuff:

  • a small journal from Sarah Jo
  • notecards from Myra or Julie
  • a book/gift card from Diana or a book from Nanette
  • a Starbucks gift card from Shana or Marie
  • handmade beeswax lip balm and soap from Jen
  • scripture art calendar from Asheritah
That's right, all of the above. Donors, your generosity is overwhelming as you offer up to those you don't even know.

I wish I had pretty clip art with thought-provoking Bible verses in scrolly fonts to help me highlight the generosity of the women who have made this giveaway possible, but that is not one of my gifts. Sarah Jo, Myra, Julie, Diana, Nanette, Shana, Marie, Jen, and Asheritah, I hope you understand!

So don't forget to enter below!
This giveaway is only for members of #fmfpartysnailmail round seven. Jealous that doesn't include you? Consider joining us for round eight! Details will be right here!

#fmfpartysnailmail giveaway - week 5