keeping my cool

Throughout this whole ordeal with the baby, and the continued ordeal with the baby, I've heard so many people say something to the effect of: "You're so calm through this". There certainly have been tears, but for the most part, yes, I do think Husband and I have done a pretty remarkable job of keeping our cool. There are two reasons for this:

#1: We have an amazing support system around us.

#2: We don't have a choice.

If you are struggling - with your own diagnosis, with the diagnosis of a loved one, with postpartum depression, with a string of bad days that have you down for no apparent reason - seek help. You do not have to do this alone. Asking for help does not mean that you are weak. It shows how strong you are. Just because some people appear to keep their cool does not mean that you have to, as well.

Here's the deal with my son's Lennox-Gastaut diagnosis and my apparent calmness: I realize that it sucks and I have mourned (and continue to mourn) the fact that my little dude may never have a normal life. But right now? He is doing amazing. He is defying the odds. His last several EEGs have shown remarkable improvement. He is developing socially, physically, verbally, and mentally at a steady rate, roughly a year behind his actual age dictates he "should" be. I realize that this could stop at any moment, he could start having a different type of seizure, or he could stop responding to his meds. Yes, it would be easy to dwell on that. I read stories about LGS children who develop fairly normally until the age of four or six, and then they stop, they regress, and their whole treatment plan has to be reevaluated. Sometimes the doctors just aren't able to get it under control. It doesn't mean they aren't good doctors. That's just the nature of this diagnosis. I am well aware of the fact that could happen to us.

But why would I want to dwell on it? Worrying about the future does nothing but rob me of the joyous present. And friends: there is so much joy to be had right now.

There are mountains to be climbed...

...meals to be eaten...

 ...books to be read...

and love to be shared.

These crazy little munchkins are raising a mommy who is present in today. Go hug a loved one.